Featured topic: FRIENDSHIP | Ask Dr. K

Let?s get to your questions ?.

Dr. K,
I have a best male friend that I have grown very close to over the past 10 years. I was always unsure about his sexual preference because of his somewhat feminine personality and our lack of sexual attraction. Over the span of our friendship, I have seen him date other girls, but the relationships never lasted longer than a couple weeks or months. Recently, I introduced him to one of my close girl friends and they have been hanging out and flirting with one another. They?ve been spending more time together than I have with either of them. At first, I didn?t think anything of it, but he came to me the other day asking if she had said anything about him, and told me he had feelings for her. He even said that they almost hooked up one night after the bar. Since he told me that, I?ve been feeling extremely jealous and I don?t know why. I?ve never considered myself to be attracted to him, but can?t seem to get their relationship off of my mind. I thought about talking to my girl friend about it, but don?t know what to say because I don?t know what I?m feeling. Is this a romantic attraction or am I just being a jealous friend? ?The Girl Friend

Dear Girl Friend
Don?t worry?you?re just being a jealous friend. Jealousy is a fear of losing something that you have. In this case, you are afraid of losing that close, special, almost exclusive friendship bond?in stereo. Research indicates that women feel more threatened by a rival for an emotional attachment than a rival for a sexual attachment. Given that romantic relationships have never gotten in the way of hang out time with your guy friend in the past, you don?t know what it feels like to compete for his time/concern/caring. You don?t need to talk to your girl friend or your guy friend about this. You need to be happy for the two of them, support their decisions about the relationship, keep confidences when necessary, and reconnect with other friends and family. ?Dr. K

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Source: http://askdrk.wordpress.com/2012/11/06/featured-topic-friendship-2/

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