Thursday, October 25, 2012

Thoughts on having birth parents in your home? - Adoption.com ...

I am currently taking classes to become licensed. I wasn't expecting too many surprises because I've heard just about everything through this forum. I guess I was wrong. At class last night, there were a few things mentioned that made me question this decision. Maybe I'm overreacting. Here are my concerns:

1. The CW mentioned that the new plan in place is for BPs to accompany the CW to your home to drop off the children at placement. This way they meet you at the same time that the kids do, can see your house and the child's room, help them get settled, etc. They said its best for the kids because they know that mom and dad know where they are and are okay with it. I can see that, but from my perspective, that's a lot to ask. I would be open to having BPs in my home further along in a case if they are working their plan and I have a good relationship with them and feel safe with them knowing where I live. But to have never met them and to have no choice but to invite them into my home the first day makes me uncomfortable. (And another thought of mine: what if that child is a victim of SA but the CW's don't know this yet. Having their abuser know where they sleep might not be "best for the kids" as they say it is.)

2. We read a scenario where the FPs were transporting the kids to visits and supervising them 3-4 times per week, and were mentoring the birth mother and talking with her regularly. The CW said that this is the goal and to be prepared for that. My husband and I work full time, so supervising 3-4 visits per week would be crazy. And being asked to supervise also makes me uncomfortable. In some cases maybe, but again, I'd want to be the one to decide if I feel safe doing so, and have the right to decline.

3. CW mentioned that since birth parents retain their rights as guardians, they sign all forms, including all school forms such as field trip permissions, school pictures, etc, all medical forms, and even daycare or school enrollment. We can sign for nothing. She said that we need to be prepared to take time off in the event that BPs are MIA and can't sign the daycare enrollment forms, as this could cause it to take longer to set up. Is this the norm? I can't take endless time off work because someone doesn't feel like showing up to sign a form.

Maybe I'm overreacting. I do support RU, and wouldnt be doing foster care if I didn't. I'm open to working with birth parents and mentoring them (though I feel unprepared to do so, not being a parent myself yet.) But I have my limits. What do you all think, would you be comfortable with these things? Do I need to suck it up and get over my discomfort/fear for the sake of supporting RU?

Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/409156-thoughts-having-birth-parents-your-home.html

OJ Murdock Olympics Live Mens Gymnastics Allison Schmitt Olympic Schedule Kyla Ross Ryan Lochte

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.